I have been doing that thing, where you drive someplace and can’t remember how you got there!!! …. kind of scary actually.. My mind just keeps wandering to the wierdest places and then tears just fall and it takes me out of whatever trance i have put myself in. … I found myself leaving Starbucks and coming out of ‘that’ street turning left!!!!!! ……looking right into my husbands face…. at that stupid place that i have to pass every single day. I barely ever look that way and i NEVER drive on the street that i have now found myself on… … and i am turning left!… my mind goes to Amanda and how has her life continued? Does this date mean anything to her at all? Or does it pass by as any other?… and then memories of that night come crashing down like a ton of bricks. All of a sudden i am hearing Greg ask Roger to pray and the poor man can not even breathe let alone get a prayer out… and somewhere i hear words.. i am speaking… words i will never remember… but i know that we prayed for her that night. That she would not suffer… and that she would find some peace… knowing that she took a life. …… I wonder, has she found some peace? Does she hide her pain as i try to hide mine? ……

Cars are passing in front of me… an endless amount coming from both directions. I tried to understand her frustration that day. At the same time, my eyes are welling up and i can barely see. Can these cars move so that i may just get out of this spot?? …….

I pray that we all find peace in our hearts about that day. ….