i thought that my last post sucked! well…. yesterday added a new level to that.

It started out with leftovers from the day before and then when i was at my doctors appt… just writing my name and the date… something struck me about the day in general.. what was so important about 9/20? …. and then it hit me. That is the day that Tim asked me to marry him….. …. tears well up and i have to gain my composure in this place as quick as i can… because that is just who i am lately. Anyway, my appt is to long to explain but, it turns out that we have come to an agreement to change NOTHING because the mere thought of changing anything brings those tears to the forefront…. and they can not be contained. What ‘is’ or ‘is not’ working as well as we would like is the only thing that i can remotely understand or control and the thought of throwing something else into the mix…. and those unknown side effects is too much to handle.

I thought that the day was going better when i spent some time at the beach and a playdate at the park… and then got to have some extra friends show up…. however, the day had some other things to unfold….

Someone has been messing with me at my house now for a few months… since before Soliton…. it does not matter what it was or what happened yesterday…. know that Gavin and i are safe… but when i got home… something was not right… the police were called and ……. well… let’s just say that i felt better having Gavin stay with the Patrick’s last night.

Again, let me just say that we are fine…. and everything is OK…. no worries. Seriously… nobody freak out… everything is totally taken care of. The correct people were called and the right people came by to check on me… etc etc… it is just another day in the life of miki apparently….

It is like i told a dear friend just yesterday…. she must be doing something right….. or she would not be under such great attack…. the same must hold true over here as well. The funny thing is… on tuesday night at our Ragamuffin study, we were talking about how that when you become a christian, your life does not get easier… it actually gets harder the closer you get to God. …. We joked about the fact that we did not want to get any closer because we had been through so much that we could not handle any more… i guess that the joke is on me.